At first it was all good – sure, fudge and garlic tasted really nasty on pizza, but it was fun seeing our friends’ reactions. The yogurt looked gross, but tasted fine. The sardines smelled wretched, but were still tolerable. And then there was “Strawberry Surprise”.
Now, the turtles never quite explained what the surprise was, so Mrs. Nerd told us it was “dill”. TRICKERY! She failed to mention that Kyle (the guy with the long hair) hid the REAL surprise under the strawberries: a metric buttload of Ass Blaster hot sauce. They tell you to drink milk after really spicy food, but that’s not what your body wants to do. The editor of this episode was kind enough to cut the part where I drank straight of of a wine bottle because it was the first liquid substance I spotted. Classy – I’ll screencap that shot for my mom. And I’m pretty sure I actually elbowed poor Mike in the ribs when we both attempted to drink straight from the water faucet.
The editor also cut the part where the lovely blond lady started picking the marshmallow pepperoni pieces out of the trash and eating them. Before you call me out as a bad friend, she did give me permission to tell that secret because, in her words, “They were really good and still on top of the trash heap. What’s the problem?” The problem was that she – as well as several other people – got severely sick from this incident. Like “hurling-in-a-dumpster-behind-a-grocery-store-level” sick. Extra classy.
The next morning, I placed puke buckets all over my office in case anyone had any TMNT pizza-related stomach issues. Did I mention we shot EIGHT episodes of OverAnalyzers the day after shooting this video? Oh, and the food on the set that day? Leftover pizza. Yay. Luckily, nobody puked, but we went through an entire pack of Tums and there were a lot of pained expressions fromthe folks that had the Strawberry Surprise. Stupid Michelangelo. Stupid Ass Blaster. Stupid Kyle.
In the end (no pun intended), it was all worth it. Not only did we amuse the fans (I think it was one of the highest-shared videos of all time on CM), the video got featured on SciFi’s Channel’s Blastr, NY Magazine’s Vulture, and the Onion’s AV Club, which gave me the nerdgasm of my life.
So, thank you all for watching and subjecting your friends and family to our gross party. But do not try this at home. I’m serious.